“The good is followed by the bad”

Applegate emphasizes that it wasn’t necessarily about being “bigger,” but about how “the girl who had control all her life no longer had that control.”

“Sometimes the weight bothered me more than the disease. I didn’t look in the mirror for a year. Then I was put on a clear‑liquid diet because of my stomach issues, and all of a sudden, everything just dropped off of me.

“Within seven months, all of it was gone, and I was down by 50 pounds or more. These days, my legs are tinier than they’ve ever been.”

The condition prevents Applegate from eating the foods she enjoys, and she struggles with “serious stomach issues.” Even so, she says she has reached a healthier relationship with food today.

“So once again, the good is followed by the bad: I’ve managed to create a much healthier place when it comes to my relationship with food, only to get out of the shower and see legs that are scary‑looking.

“I have no muscles – just sticks. It’s dangerous to be walking around with zero muscles on my body: it means my bones aren’t protected if I fall, and it scares me. But there’s still that little voice in my head saying, ‘You’re really skinny. You have the legs you always wanted. Good for you.’ This is the sickness. But she’s not going to win.”